It has been about a year since I attained enlightenment. During this time, my thoughts, feelings, and overall state have gone through three distinct stages of transformation.

Stage One

Right after enlightenment, most of the sensations were paradoxical — “I am the Dao, I am not the Dao; I am the universe, I am not the universe.” It felt like being one with the Dao, heaven, and earth, yet also not one with them. Everything — right and wrong, unity and division — overlapped and coexisted. It was a very subtle, ethereal experience, almost dreamlike and indescribable.

Stage Two

After several months, that first-stage feeling gradually faded. A new state began to emerge — a clear separation between the heart, mind, and body. It felt as if a new “inner mind” was born. Most of the time, this inner mind would observe the world, observe myself, and even watch my own thoughts and emotions. It was a split, detached state, where the inner mind became the true guide and observer.

Stage Three

This is my current state, about a year after enlightenment. The experiences of the first and second stages have nearly disappeared. I feel almost no longer human — my human nature is fading. There are very few thoughts left. I don’t think about much, I don’t care about anything. Money, emotions, life — all feel distant and meaningless. I seem to have stepped completely outside, watching the world as an outsider. It feels as if I am moving toward a state of complete emptiness and nothingness.

Sometimes when I go out drinking or chatting with friends, I still talk and laugh about worldly things, like women and daily pleasures — that feels like the last trace of my human side. But when I’m alone, I sink deeper into emptiness and stillness. I can also sense the subtle ways the external world constantly tries to “brainwash” people. These influences are very sophisticated, but when I observe from the perspective of the Dao and my inner mind, I can clearly see through them.

Overall, I no longer seek any feeling, nor do I wish to experience any. There is simply nothing to seek and nothing to feel.

Observing the World in Yin and Yang

During the second and third stages, I began naturally perceiving all things in the world through the lens of yin and yang — every situation, every problem has its dual aspects. In the third stage, this perception continues, and it is accompanied by the natural understanding of cause and effect.

On the Natural Progression

Throughout this past year, all these states appeared passively, without any deliberate pursuit. They arose naturally, and I simply experienced and accepted them without judging right or wrong, good or bad. I am just walking step by step, observing as it unfolds, not knowing what the next stage will bring.

These stages, in my experience, appeared in this specific order. If you reach enlightenment, you may also experience similar transitions, one after another.

After enlightenment, I have no direction, no goal, and no path ahead. I take one step at a time, recording my state along the way. I hope these notes can serve as a reference for those who will one day attain enlightenment themselves.

Edited on September 22, 2021